SuHaiB CoLuMn

IT WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER N EVER HAR HAR HAR... scary eh

           The ghost inside of me hv creep outside it’s cave once more.... and this time it have found a new way to traumatise me.... HOOEEE HOOEEE HOOOEEEEWWWW. ..... Nope this aint a retell of my encounters with a Jembalang, Pontianak or Jenglot. It something more scarier than that.... It is the thought of WHAT IF....

                In life we r granted with choices... and we seem to always argue which one is the best.... or just perhaps maybe the choice we hv made r not so darn awful.... maybe the choice itself wont made u think so much but sometimes the consequences of that choice will someway traumatised you. Before this i was traumatised with my choice to send my car for repair in Klang, Selangor that eventually lead to i fallen into a deep coma for 4 days n become permanently handicapped. And the WHAT IF though keep flocking in my deep mind and shattered heart after that. Thank God i finally able to get over it after 7 mont

hs.

 

   Now so suddenly the WHAT IF syndrome reappeared and this time an article about reconstructive surgery

triggered the though flushing back into my mind. It mentioned that a lecture in USM r leading a team of physicians and researchers to a new level of reconstructive surgery here in our homeland. And what made it more appealing is he mentioning about complex hand injury recovery which is the same with my injurie. Before this the orthopaedic who treated me said that my hand will remain handicapped for life and at that moment their’s no such expertise in Malaysia that can help me to recover fully. So i wasnt hoping i can ever recover fully, but now after reading that newspaper article, a new HOPE hv appear.

            But hope can be very miss leading if u don’t know how to handle it.... It can motivate u but it also can bring u down when the end result is not like what ur hoping for. For now i can live with the fact that im permanently handicapped....but i cant argue that there always a small part of me that want the full function of my right hand back.  And after 3 years, i can help to think about WHAT IF that can be done (my right hand recovery).... but at what cost? I hv already put a lot of burden on my parents shoulder when the accident happened.... thankfully a part of it was settled with my insurance claim. But now there’s no other way to finance the reconstructive surgery without a bomb on my parents financial budget.... except if i won a lottery or something like that.

The most reasonable choice now is to put it all aside and complete my master degree 1^st. And if by that time i can save around RM 10 K than there is a chance i can become NORMAL again before i reach 26. Hmm but then i have to stay unmarried longer though....  life full of choices eh?

AKU, CINTA & .... II

           Ini adalah sequel kpd post ak yg lebih awal bertajuk

`AKU, CINTA & ...’ setahun yg lalu. Jika dulu ak berikan persepsi tentang cinta kini ak akn berkongsi pengalaman berjinak2 dgn api C.I.N.T.A. Dalam post sblm ini ak pernah berikrar utk tidak akan terjerebak ke dlm budaya couple semasa masih bgelar mahasiswa prasiswazah gara2 menjaga AMANAH.

        Namun sebenarnya tidak bbrp lama sblm menduduki peperiksaan semasa sem terakhir ak dah mula mengorak langkah bermain dgn emosi dan perasaan. Bukan niat utk mengingkari amanah yg tlh diberikan cuma perasaan syok tu dah terlalu kuat dan hati ini cukup yakin bhw ‘dia’lah CINTA SEJATI. Sebenarnya bukan dengan mudahnya utk aku jatuh cinta... tapi bile perasaan itu dah ditahan dan dipendam buat satu jangka masa yg agak panjang (8 thn blh thn panjang jgk la kan). Maka bile saat dan peluang tu muncul xkan la ak nak tunda perasaan ak tu 8 thn lg kot. Lagi pun ak ni jenis org yg yakin dgn suratan takdir.... dan aku percaya pertemuan semula setelah terpisah selama 7 thn ada maksudnya yg tersendiri...

         Namun mungkin cuma Tuhan tahu ape yg lebih baik utk ku, benih yang ku semai tu gagal utk bercambah membentuk bunga mekar di TAMAN CINTAKU. Dan aku jugak x berusaha utk menyuburkan cinta yg sudah berputik itu atas dasar mengejar cita2 di perantauan. Cume ape yg boleh aku katakana statusnya kini adalah PENDING @ just wait and see....

            Tak lama lepas ak berhijrah ke bumi kenyalang Sarawak, hati ini terusik lagi. Atas dasar tempoh kuarantin hatiku dah tamat dan ak dah bebas, so there’s no more hesitation. Gadis pertama di Sarawak yg ak minat, terus ak approach tanpa ragu2. Sekilas pandang memang aku dgnnya mempunyai ciri2 couple yg ideal. We share a lot of things in common, we like d same colours, came from resemble family background, we work together and even have almost d same laptop model.... but there is just one thing that stopping me from giving my full commitment to her. The fact that im a muslim boy and she’s a catholic girl. And until the time comes when she is prepared to learn about Islam, and only then that i be willing to dedicate a part of my heart for her. Jadi buat masa ini biarlah kami mengenal hati budi masing2 dan sekadar bergelar teman tapi mesra.... Maka buat kali keduanya hatiku masih berstatus PENDING @ in progress....

         Mungkin ada diluar sane berpendapat ak ni terlalu memilih orgnya. “Ini x boleh, itu x boleh lah. Ala ape susah try je la dulu”.... Ntahlah cume bagi aku CINTA adalah satu perkara yg x boleh diambil mudah dan dipandang enteng. Ak masih dgn konsep bercinta mestilah berlandaskan nilai2 dan juga norma2 yg aku pegang dan yg ak dukung. Sebenarnya x banyak yg aku minta dr pasanganku Cuma sekadar kesanganggupan utk bermadu, bukan 1, bukan 2 tetapi cukuplah sekadar 3! Tapi oppp bukan bermadu dgn 3 org gadis lain ttp bermadu dgn 1. Agamaku, 2. Familyku dan 3. Cita2ku. Jadi sehingga aku ketemu insan yg sanggup bermadu 3 ini, nampak gayanya aku akn maintain single and still searching =D

Turun Kampung

      Dah lame agaknya sejak kali terakhir entry blog aku dipostkan dlm BM. Maka bg tidak kelihatan spt ak memencilkan bahasa ibunda sendiri, entry kali ini akan disampaikan sepenuhnya dalam BAHASA MALAYSIA/MELAYU. Kini genaplah satu semester ak bgelar  pelajar master di UNIMAS. Dan dlm tempoh masa tersebut sudah banyak pengalaman baru ak b’jaya kecapi. Bertemu rakan2 baru, menjelajah tempat baru dan juga belajar sedikit-sebanyak ttg budaya tempatan. Bcakap pasal budaya tempatan, baru2 ni ak bpeluang merasa kehidupan masyarakat Melayu Sarawak. Semuanya bermula apbl ak dipanggil oleh Kaunselor Unimas utk trt serta dalam program BAKTISISWA KEMAS-UNIMAS 2008 bertempat di Kg Melayu Bakong, Sri Aman.

 Program selama satu minggu tersebut dimulakan dgn aktvt orientasi selama 2 hari di Unimas. Memandangkan komitmen yg tinggi terhadap kerja2 penyelidikkan, oleh di sebabkan itu ak x dpt menghadiri sepenuhnya orientasi tersebut. Tetapi apbl shj prog baktisiswa bermula pd 13hb tempoh hari ak tlh berjanji utk komited sepenuhnya kpd objektif dan misi prog t’sebut (kesan mindset yg tlh dilatih semasa giat dgn aktvt pelajar ketika d UKM ). Perjalanan ke Sri Aman memakan masa 3 jam dan utk masuk pula ke kpg angkat kami memakan masa lebih kurang 1 jam. Keadaan di sini jauh berbeza spt d semenanjung. Jika di tpt asal ku perjalanan dgn menaiki bas selama 4 jam blh meliputi jarak 300km ttp di sini jarak d antara Unimas dan Sri Aman lebih kurang 100km shj. Bukan di sebabkan pemandu bas disini terlalu berhati2 semasa memandu ttp semua angkara tiada kemudahan lebuhraya spt lebuhraya di semenanjung. Ditambah lg dengan hanya jalan berbatu dr bandar Sr Amn k kg tersebut.

 Setibanya kontijen kami seramai 31 org di kg bakong, kami di sambut meriah oleh penduduk kpg. Siap dgn pakaian boria, bungga manggar dan juga paluankompang. Rasa spt raja sehari.... mcm YB pun ada juga. Seterusnya kami di arak ke tempat perasmian dimana Tn Residen sudah sedia menanti. Ingatkan majlis perasmian akn terus dimulakan, ttp sememangny masy disini melayan kami dgn layanan 1^st class. Kami dijamu terlebih dahulu dgn masakan org kpg sblm majlis perasmian bermula. Setelah selesai ucapan oleh semua VIP peserta dr Unimas di agihkan kpd keluarga angkat msg2. Ak dan rakan ku Hairee mendapat keluarga angkat yg sama iaitu keluarga En Abdillah. Apbl kami berdua d bw pulang ke rumah keluarga angkat, alangkah terkejutnya ak apbl mendapati keluarga angkat ku adalah dikalangan org yg berada di kg tersebut. Rumah keluarga angkat ku lengkap dgn segala kemudahan, sesuatu yg jauh drpd apa yg digembar-gemburkan kpd kami oleh pihak KEMAS. (Mungkin ak bernasib baik ttp dlm semua prog anak angkat yg pernah ak sertai inilah yg plg mewah)

 Dipendekkan cerita aktvt kami selama 6 hari disana di isi dgn kegiatan spt lawatan k rumah panjang, ceramah agama, bengkel akademik utk pelajar2 sekolah, gotong-royong, sukaneka, malam kebudayaan dan kenduri kampung. Dan pada 18hb akhirnya kami terpaksa mengucapkan selamat tinggal buat keluarga angkat di Kpg Melayu Bakong. Dengan liagan air mata (peserta lain la ak x tngkp leleh hua hua) pd pukul 10 pg bas pun berlalu membawa kami pulang k Unimas. Dan bg aku walaupun ini adalah kali ke 6 ak menyertai prog yg serupa (kini ak ad 5 family angkat: 2 di Kedah, 1 di Slgr, 1 di N9 dan tbaru di Swk), pengalaman kali ini jauh berbeza dgn pengalaman2 baktisiswa @ OPKIM yg lepas. Mungkin antr sebabnya adlh pd baktisiwa kali ini ak hanya mengenali sorang shj drpd 30 perserta yg lain. Jika dulu di UKM, baktisiswa yg aku join di sertai dan dikelolakan oleh sahabat2 sepersatuan ak jg. Maka lebih mudah utk bekerjasama kerna kami sudah sudah mengenali diri masing2. Namun begitu syukur di akhir prog, boleh ak katakan ak dah dpt 29 kwn baru. Disamping itu memandangkan peserta kali ini majoriti org swk, maka scr azalinya mereka bkomunikasi dlm dialek tempatan. Pd mulanya sering kali ak terpinga2 dgn ape yg mereka katakan.... tetapi kini ak dah boleh sedikit sebanyak KELAKA BAHASA SWK (hehe blh la sikit2 setakat kmk, ktk, madah, polah... tu je la, lebih2 sik blh lg). Juga seperkara lg adlh dulu di UKM prog2 spt ini dianjurkan sepenuhnya oleh mahasiswa maka segala gerak kerja dirancang dan dilaksanakan oleh kami sendiri. Ttp disini kami mahasiswa hanya dijemput sebagai peserta dan pengerak semasa on prog, segala idea dan cadangan dr pihak kami x dipedulikan sgt oleh pihak penganjur.

 X lupa jg pengalaman berharga kefasilatatoran apbl ak kena jd KF utk bengkel akademik dan ahli panel adhock utk forum bsama ibu-bapa. Namun begitu apa yg lebih penting, ak sendiri dapat melihat dan merasa sedikit sebanyak kehidupan masyarakat di pendalaman. Jika di tpt2 lain kemudahan spt elektrik, air paip dan jln raya blh dikatakan sebagai kemudahan asas. Tetapi d sesetengah tpt disini benda2 tersebut blh dianggap sebagai kemewahan. Bayangkan anda terpaksa bangun seawal 5 pagi utk pegi mandi air gunung, belajar tanpa kemudahan elektrik dan d bwh chy lampu lilin di malam hari. Sukar utk percaya ada yg tpaksa menempuh kepayahan hidup sebegini walaupun negara sudah merdeka lebih dari 50 thn.  Dan bagi aku yg x merasa cabaran seumpama itu diharap dgn kedatangan ku dan rakan2 yg lain di bumi Bakong dpt sedikit sebanyak menyuntik semangat kepada masy disana khasnya pelajar2 sekolah utk memajukan diri.

Survivor. REALITY

What make you a SURVIVOR? My way of interpreted it, survivor means someone who have to withstand harsh conditions, outsourcing limited resources and at the end of the turmoil, able to accomplish its objectives and missions still standing on their own two feet. And i am made of survivor material.....CERTIFIED and PROVEN in REAL LIFE!

 Yeah, it may sound cocky but actually we all are survivors... at least at the extend of one of our 2 chromosomes which came from the male sperms have to fight each other for the prestige of mating with the female ovule (Which means that the survival skills came from the male partner! Hehe just live with it girls). As for myself, life have sculptured me into a FIGTHER. Fighting with the surroundings for the rights to live the way i are.  

 The first real test of my survival skills came when i was 15. It happened when my family moved from KL to JB and i have to continue my studies in a new school. When you registered into one of the three most violent secondary school in JB knowing no one except for yourself it resembled to how Michael Scofield (prison break) first enter prison... but thinking of it he’s in a better condition than me cause he has his big bro with him hohoho. My survival skills really helped cause i never got into a real mess even though the fact that kids got beaten up almost every day in that school. And when i finished my studies there with straight As in the PMR exam you as might say ive also accomplished my mission such as how M. Scofield successfully get his big bro out of prison. (but he made a big mess along the way but as for myself there’s no such casualties. So im better than him HAR HAR HAR)

 The first test turn up to be as a preparation camp for me cause the next year eventually i have to maximise my SURVIVAL knowledge and skills when i registered into a boarding school. And this time im totally all alone cause there are no more running back crying to papa and mama. Actually i can consider myself as a spoiled brat before i entered boarding school cause at home almost everything were done according to my liking....but it all came to a brute STOP in SAMURA. In the way of the SAMURAI’s school, i were disciplined, trained to take a beating and move on, and most of all polished my survival skills. Maybe because of this some of my batch mates (1st batch 2001) who can’t endure all the torturing from our seniors choose to run back to their’s MAMA and registered out of the school. Like it was all planned earlier, i was placed in the HELL’s dorm (Pujangga 4) where the most psycho seniors roam.... and im the sole survivor from my current batch when all 3 of the others juniors can only manage to hold their d**k for a few weeks... making me the only target for my seniors mocking for one whole month before the 2^nd batch came. In the end when i graduated from SAMURA, i got what i came for earlier: straight As in the SPM exam and the manhood to flatter with girlz =P... But one thing still isn’t settle (LIPAN, Pujeng 4 if u r reading this. U better b afraid cause if i got the chance to meet u, im going to KICK ur ASS d way u kicked mine minus the backing of all my friends not such as cowardly when u face me before)   

 The next REAL test came a few years later just 2 months before i turned 21..... 15^th December 2005 was a day that i was REBORN! The biggest challenge i have to encountered so far was when, suddenly after i woke up from a deep coma ive just realized that im not the same person as i am before. A week earlier ive just conquered Mount Ledang for the 3^rd time, 2 other mountains before that, travel to a different state in a weekly basis and so many other personal accomplishments.... and when ive recovered from the coma i cant barely even stand up on my own 2 feet! Thoroughly the journey as a handicapped is a test physically and especially MENTALLY and EMOTIONLY. And it seem it was a lengthily test not just for a few days nor months but throughout my whole undergrad studies. First ive to complete my Practical Training barely 6 months after the accident. Then finishing 2 out of 3 of my remaining semesters with total strangers. And finally i graduated just last semester with a 2^nd class upper degree, successfully conquered Mount Ledang for the 4^th time and i am an officially certified UKM’s facilitator trainer.... i might say its a job well done as ive SURVIVED half of my studies as a handicapped.   

 That is why, just a month after i finished my undergrad studies ive chosen to test my survival skills once again by doing my post grad studies in unfamiliar terrains. With so much disadvantage and so little priorities i held my face up high and go barging into UNIMAS. Out of 7000 people here i only knew 3 of them, and whom actually i know not that real close.... But im optimistic that ill accomplish my missions here. Based on my proven survival skills and of course with the help from God and a few pair of helping hands.  

            To certain people especially whom who just knew me and haven’t got the chance to learn about my background, i may seem as an arrogant and egoist type of person....YES its true, in a way i admitted it. I do have that certain degree of arrogance and egoism... but those characteristics that helped me to get to where i am now. It motivates me to go further, push harder and set my dreams higher. It assisted me in accomplishing my target and goals without the hassle of having people stepped on me or manipulated me. So when people turns their back on me, it came naturally for me to act in a same way.... cause that’s how i SURVIVED! I do owe my gratitude to my families and close friends who hv helped me along the way.... plus a little charm of good luck. But still i believe 90% of who you’ll turn up into are determent by yourself cause it have been stated in the Holy Quran that God won’t change the fate of a certain race if that race doesn’t want to change it’s ways.

Everything to LOSE or Everything to GAIN.

           In a few days, I will be 2 months old here in UNIMAS, and in general life here is GOOD... Currently things are running smoothly. But I can’t say that everything has turn out as I have planned earlier. There are a few hiccups and obstacles which are slowing me down.... something NORMAL in life and which I have been practically used to. One of those obstacles is my financial state here.

 As coming here is pretty costly with the fact that my only guaranteed source of cash flow are from my PARENTS (something quite embarrassing for a 23 years old adult such as myself). So securing a scholarship is a MUST and non-officially I have successfully done that. But as my scholar is provided by the Ministry of Science and Technology, its taking them quite some time to lay down the agreement... maybe one of the factors contributing to the delay is because of the just recently held general election and the UNEXPECTED results are costing them the EXPECTED delay (and the politician are talking about making government services more people friendly... yeah right!). This has resulting me in a TIGHT regime of financial budget = (

 Not so troublesome issue is my current state of emotion.... It’s not I’m not happy here (cause there no REALLY bad things happening to me, yet). But I can’t denied it can be pretty LONELY at certain times... maybe it just the post syndrome living in a new place, far away from my beloved family and friends (my alter EGO may denied it but yes I miss the people used to be around me back there when I was in UKM). I know it’s not a major problem but when im all alone, it’ll keep bugging me down deep in my shallow heart and spacious mind... And my new friends here are not quite talkative, extremely expressed, ambitious and over confident little NAPOLEONs as the people I used to mix with. Im not making a statement for my new friends or something like that but I need someone who are not afraid to speak their mind off, someone who I can discuss with on world related topics, future prospects for our country and simply about the weather, someone who can give me their honest opinion and argue with me in a creative and intellectual way... (Yeah maybe I should have consider doing my post grad studies in political science and not biotech =P) But when you have been trained to talk nonstop for 3 hours, it’s something like an addiction to speak my mind off... Thinking of it, actually maybe I need to be in control of my old habits. But im still searching for my kind of crowd or just haven’t got the opportunity to discover the unexplored talent of my new friends.

 Back there in the peninsular, I have all the things needed for my post grad studies READY and set up for my comfort.... actually before I came here, I have already receive several offers to do my master’s degree in UKM as Graduate Research Assistant with secure monthly pay around RM1200. I also have a mass social connection where I know all the important people to get what I needed when I need it!  (sound like Michael Scofield from d prison break drama series eh?) Not forgetting all the friends and people who I know and knew me, the result from my 3 years of hyperactive student life... frankly speaking I fell secure and comfortable back there in UKM, putting me in a much advantage position to pursue my studies over there....Yet I LEAVE all that luxury and comfort behind and equipped with just my knowledge, experience, faith and also my alter EGO came here to unfamiliar terrain to GAIN new experience, knowledge, friendship and perhaps love... You as might say I got everything to LOSE or everything to GAIN here in Unimas! But I choose to pick the latter in my way of looking at it. But that just one of the basic principles in life: to GAIN something, we must also willing to RISK something else. As for me to gain EVERYTHING, I have to risk EVERYTHING in exchange.

The sky is FALLING down!

          Its been quite some time since i last posted my blog with an English material.... and here in unimas the official language is English.... back there in UKM everything was in our national language.... so i need to polish up my English, especially orally. And my newest post will be fully in English.

  Here in Kota Samarahan the weather is very unpredictable. It can be a clear sunny day and a moment later it began to rain,  almost everyday... and when it does, its rained cats & dogs..... You’ll know the sky going to fall down when dark clouds begin to form up above.... then it’ll get darker like the sun is setting down.... the wind started to blow at such high speed that even the curtain rail hv loosen its grip to the wall. It even made a weird howling sound, like the sound of dogs calling each other, HUUUWWW, HUUUUWWWW (something like that lorr) ... soon the rain came after that, began with a light drizzle and then heavily that i cant even see the bridge apposite my room. And the rain will last up to an hour or so...

 Because there is no roofing walking alley, an umbrella is a must thing to hv here in UNIMAS.... even for a MACHO men like me (at first i think its quite lame for a guy to use umbrella, but when i get drenched a few times, i changed my mind hehe). So it is a common sight here to see guys sticking to their umbrella.... but i still think we men shouldn’t use it on a sunny day just to protect our perfect smooth white skin (REAL men of course).... And sometimes u can see people running for shelter if it suddenly rained... something very fun to watch up above from my apartment (sometime we also shout at them as an encouragement so they  run faster as in a race walaulaulau =P)

 There also one incident when my room was drenched with rain after i forgot to close my room window before going to the lab... resulting in me cleaning my room all over again (i learn my lesson thought).... But after quite sometime here and after observing the cloud formation pattern a couple of times, i think i can tell if its going to rain soon or not (pretty good la for a non weather broadcaster eh?) And i even started to like the common rain here., it surely make sleeping such more wonderful pastime activity hohoho =D  

Dunia BaRu

    Korang penah tengok x tgk drama b'siri DUNIA BARU yg ditayang kt TV3 tu... xpon layan versi filemnya yg baru je kuar 7hb yg lepas.... kalo dalam cite tu watak2 mcm OPIE, ADIF, TAJOL dan member2 dorang yg lain cube belaja meyesuaikan diri di alam kampus, begitulah jgk dgn aku yg baru bertandang ke dunia baru pascasiswazah di Universiti Malaysia Sarawak.

           Kini dah hampir sebulan aku b'gelar student master kt sini.... dan dlm tempoh mase t'sebut dah mcm2 pengalaman aku dapat. Antaranya insiden makan jalan tar, minum air tasik unimas dan ronda2 bdr kuching.... Tp sblm aku bcerita lbh lanjut pengalaman2 aku tu, aku akan perjelaskan persoalan yg banyak kali diaju' pd aku setibanya aku di cn.... Ramai individu dicn berasa pelik kenapa ak ambil keputusan utk melanjut' pelajaran di unimas sdg' aku bkn org swk dan bukannya graduan undergrad dr unimas... Mungkin dorang berasa demikian krn pd mereka, kehidupan di sememnanjung lebih menarik dan mewah. Dan aku akn mengatakan pada mereka ak dtg menuntut ilmu di UNIMAS adlh bg mencabar diri aku... keluar dr zon selesa dan timba pengalaman baru disini.... dan sejarah hidup aku dah membuktikan bahawasanya aku akan menjadi lebih matang dgn stp cabaran dan kesukaran yg aku tempuhi.... dan utk aku berevolusi menjadi isan yang lebih lengkap... aku perlu tempuhi cabaran ini...

           Huhu dah terlbh membebel plak.... ok 1st pengalman menarik aku kt cn ak alami apbl aku berusia 4 hr disini.... Dlm perjalanan pulang selepas menunaikan solat jumaat bersama2 member yg aku br kenal... kami ditimpa malapetaka apbl motor yg kami tunggang terlibat dgn kemalangan.... xlah teruk sangat cume luke di bahagian siku dan buku lali je....tp hasil kemalangan tu mybb' traffic jam yg agak panjang jgk dr kampus timur ke kampus barat.... ntah la aku pun x tahu nak ulas mcm mane.... tp kejadian xcident dah mcm m'hantui hidup ak... dan kemalangan tersebut adlh kemalangan ke 4 aku sepanjang bergelar mahasiswa.... cume alhamdulillah kali ni aku diberi hikmat disebalik kejadian tersebut mlm tu jgk. X mcm mase aku koma dulu 7 bln lps xcident br Allah swt br hikmah disebalik kemalangan tu pd aku.... Jadi nasihat aku pd member2 yg lain, sentiasa la berhati2 diatas jln raya wlpn anda cm pembonceng mtskl mcm aku br2 ni.

          2nd pengalamn menarik aku kt unimas adlh insiden 'renang berirama' di tasik unimas... utk pengetahuan korang Unimas dilimpahi dgn berbilang tasik.... yg kecik, sederhana dan bapak besar.... kerana x tahan dgn panggilan mendayu2 tasik yg m'hadap bilik aku, pd mgg ke 2 ak kt sini aku dah melabuhkan kayak di atas tasik unimas.... Sbnrnya aku x kenal sape2 pun kt tpt main kayak tu, tp disebabkan nafsu nak mendayung sampan dh naik, aku pun pg je terjah sorang2 ke sana. Nasb baik la ade sorang member ni sudi mendayung kayak dgn aku.... die melabelkan dirinya sebagai org yg mahir dgn medium pengangkutan t'sebut.... wlpn aku ade pengalamn beberapa kali mengemudi kayak semasa di UKM tp aku bg member br aku tu utk menjadi 'driver utama' kayak tsebut dgn die duduk dibhgn belakang dan aku dbhgn dpn (pengendalian kayak dilakukan lebih banyak oleh org dibhgn blkng).... Baru beberapa minit kt org kt ats tasik tu tb2 kayak kt org t'balik... so tpaksa la ktorg berenang2 mcm anak kure2 m'cr ibunya... mungkin sbb xda chemistry lg antara kami berdua mgkn mybbkan kayak tersebut tblk.... lg satu faktor yg menyumbang kpd insiden t'sebut mungkin sbb ni kali pertama aku menggunakan kayak yg diperbuat dr fibre glass.... mmg bapak ringan dan laju meluncur diatas air tp agak sukar utk mengawal kestabilan kayak tersebut berbanding kayak biasa yg aku penah naik. Dan sblm kami mendarat, sekali lg kayak kami terbalik.... tp mungkin agaknya kali ni akibat perasaan riak apbl kt org racing dgn kayak awekz disblh ktorg (hehe pdn muke ktrog sape suruh takbur sgt =P)....semasa berenang2 tu jugak la spek mate aku yg lupe utk ditanggalkan sblm menerjah di atas tasik tenggelam ke dasar... hehe tp dgn pengorbanan tersebut aku dpt kenal 2 org awekz kayak....bak kate pepatah u gave what u get back.

          X dilupakan jg aku mencecah umur 23 thn sewaktu diunimas (7hb Feb yg lepas)... sbb hr keputeraan aku diumum' sebagai cuti umum oleh kerajaan malaysia... so aku tpaksa sambut ngan member2 master aku sehari lbh awl. Xda la sambutan besar2an mcm kt UKM dulu....Aku dan 5 org member aku pg lunch same2 dan aku jamu dorang mkn blue berry kek. (Hmm umuq dh 23, bl la nak kawen ye???) Dah keesokannya pd 7hb aku meraikan besday aku dgn sekali lagj bermain kayak... tp kali ni aku pastikan spek mate baruaku dah diikat ketat2 dikepala agar x karam lg mcm sblm ni. Kali ni xde insiden kayak t'balik lg cume kayak yg kt org kemudi asyik pusing 360 je... ntah la mungkin kayak tu alingmentnye dah x btl agaknya.... dan agak malang bg aku pd mlm tu aku ketahui bhw tgn kann aku dah mencapai kemuncak pretasinya.... Akibat tangan kanan yg pernah injured dl ketika xcident so ia x setangkas dan sekuat tgn kiri aku.... mlm tu aku tpaksa merana dgn kesakitan berdenyut2 yg menimpa tgn aku tu.... alhamdulillah bl aku bgn mase subuh kesakitan tu dah kurang.... mungkin Tuhan nak memperingatkan aku bahawa kedatangan aku disini adlh utk menimba ILMU dan niat2 lain perlu dianjak kebelakang.

     Huh dah banyak dah aku tulis ni... ok last but not least, last weekend aku ngan member2 aku pg ronda bandar kuching. 1st tpt yg kt org tuju adalah pasar SATOK... org ckp kalo dtg kuching x pg psr satok maksudnya anda x abis pusing lg kuching.... Pasar satok ni mcm Petaling Street digabungkan dgn pasar tani kt semenanjung tu. Mcm2 benda ade dijual, spt pakaian buatan siam/indon, gambir swk 100%, barang basah dan x dilupakan jgk gam kasut. Lps raound semua gerai2 kt situ kt org pg plak restoran chicken hart yg menghidangkan menu buffet berasaskan ayam.... Dgn bayaran Rm15 (x termasuk gov tax) anda boleh makan semahu anda dlm mase 2 jam. Kt org lpk kt situ kire-kire 1 jam setengah dan bile dah x boleh nak mkn lg kt org beredar k destinasi yg seterusny iaitu  D SPRING... sbuah shopping complex yg br di buka kt kuching.... kalo nak dibandingkan dgn shopping mall kt KL blh kate d spring ni mcm KLCC la sbb kedai2 dlm tu semuanya jual barangan berjenama mahal2... sbb kt org xde fulus so kt org cuci mate je la tgk barang2 yg dipamerkan. Kire2 3 ptg kt org pun beredar utk kembali ke unimas...

       So setakat itu jela pengalaman aku sepanjang 3 minggu aku dah berada di UNIMAS... selain pengalaman2 br yg aku dpt timba, aku jgk dpt ramai kenalan br... kalo sblm ni member2 aku kebanyak'nya dr kaum aku je ttp kini member2 br aku t'dr dr pelbagai suku dan sakat... melanau, iban, dayak, cina, dan x dilupakan jg melayu.... Ni br 1/48 jangka mase yg dianggarkan aku kt sini... hopefully baki lg 47 tu semuanya best2 belake =D

Secara rasminya, kini aku 'ISTIMEWA'

    

Secara umumnya setiap daripada kita adalah istimewa... ni sbb pd aku istimewa adlh  sesuatu yg ade pada kita yg tiada pd insan2 lain... @ name lainnye UNIK... dan setiap manusia tu dicipta dengan keunikannya t'sendiri.

    Ttp ISTIMEWA yg ak maksudkan dlm tajuk post  kali ni adlh benda yg berbeza. Keistimewaan ni xlah unik pada ak je tp juga 'dianugerahkan' juga pd segelintir insan2 lain yg tlh dipilih oleh Tuhan.  Apa yg kami ade yg tiada pd kebanyakkan yg lain tlh myebabkan kami dinobat' sebagai orang istimewa a.k.a Orang Kurang Upaya.... dan hr ni secara rasminya ak jg tgolong dlm kumpl ini apbl permohonan sebagai O.K.U ak diterima dan diberi kad O.K.U oleh jbtn kebajik' masys....

    Mungkin ramai yg tertanya2 ape jenis kecacatan yg aku alami yg melayak' ak utk digelar 'istimewa' . Sekali imbas mmg ak kelihatan normal spt kebanyak' yg lain ttp jika diperhalusi anda akn dpt lihat bhw ak  m'alami kecacatan fizikal yg sederhana... yg mane tgn knn ak x dpt dilurus' dan dibengkok' sepenuhnya (kire 45 darjah hingga 100 darjah shj kemampuan ak)... semuany gara2 ak t'tido ketika memandu 2 thn yg lps... ttp ak cukup bsyukur sbb msh dbr nikmat akal & nyawa.

    Jika dianalisa keadaan ak ad jgk yg b'pendapat bhw ak x seharusnya digelar istimewa sbb kecacatan yg ak alami xlah sekritikal mane. Ya ak akui mmg kecacatan yg ak alami sekarang x la sampai di tahap ianya menyebab' ak tpaksa hidup dgn alat bantuan @  perlu' bantuan org lain utk m'buat kerja2 asas. Malah dlm keadaan ak sekarang ak msh blh m'yertai aktiviti lasak spt panjat gng, b'kayak, main bola keranjang, bola tampar dll.   Ttp ak jugak x blh nak nafi' bhw keupayaan ak dah t'batas jika dibanding' dgn individu normal.... antarany tgn knn ak x mampu lg utk myuap makanan k mulut,  x  mampu m'butang  kolar baju, x dpt lg nak wat pumping...dan baru j tadi ak sedar satu lagi perkara yg dulu ak blh wat ttp skrg dh x dpt nak wat iaitu menderma darah. Sbb tangan knn ak cacat jd darah x blh diambil dr tgn tu dan tgn kiri ak pulak kedudukan salur darah t'lalu dkt dgn otot maka susah nak masuk' tiub b'jarum k tgn t'sebut.

        Ttp jika nak b'ckp psl kekurangan pasti setiap drpd kite blh m'ungkit kekurangan diri... dan mungkin tindak' aku ni mybb' ade yg m'buat andaian bhw ak ni lemah @ x blh nak b'dikari.... dulu pun ak pikir mcm tu sbb tu lps 1stgh thn lps ak eksiden br ak apply. Ttp mmg realitinya ak dah x mcm dulu...mmg kini ak cacat (Doktor yg kate mcm tu) jadi ape yg aku lakukan ni adalah perkara yg wajar iaitu menerima kenyataan.... dan jika ada yg memandang serong kalo ak m'dpt kelebihan yg diperuntu' utk geng2 istimewa ni...satu je la ak nak ckp: LANTAK korang la, pada ak apa yg ak wat ni sekadar menuntut HAK aku. Jika rakyat jelata yg normal pun menuntut hak mereka t'hadap kerajaan (sekolah p'cuma, subsidi minyak ditambah dll) maka golongan mcm aku jugak ade hak t'hadap masyarakat disekitar kami. Dan bak kate pepatah perit mate yg memandang, perit lg bahu yg memikul.... segala cabaran dr segi fizikal, mental dan juga emosi yg kami t'pasksa hadapi cuma golongan seperti kami je yg tahu... wlpn ak xlah sampai perlu b'kerusi roda ttp ak dah rase mcm mane jika Tuhan m'ambil semula nikmat yg dipinjam' tu... dan x dilupa' jgk mcm satu p'baziran j kalo parking2 khas kt shopping kompleks dan pjbt krjn dibiar' kosong j ye x? hehehe jgn jelous =P

Kehidupan seorang mahasiswa yg TERLAMPAU

    

    

Sebelum ak b'cerita lbh lanjut, ak tegaskan disini kisah ak ni xda sangkut-paut dgn cite kehidupan seorg pramugara yg t'lampau @pun kejadian yg menimpa bekas menteri kesihatan kite baru2 ni. Namun begitu cite ak ni  bknlah rekaan semata2 ttp b'dasarkan kisah benar yg tlh ak alami sendr....

    
              TERLAMPAU yg ak maksud' disini adlh t'lampau aktif b'persatuan.... hehe bg mereka yg m'hrp' t'lampau dlm erti kate lain mungkin berasa agak kecewa. Dcn ak nak kongsi b'sama p'galaman 3 stgh thn aku d UKM.... p'galaman ak d menara gading mungkin agak b'beza dr kehidupan mahasiswa lain yg maseny di isi dgn aktvt harian pg k kuliah, library, makmal dan melepak j di blk  saban hr.  Paling2 koman pn keluar lpk kt mapley pd sblh mlmny dan wak2 hjg mgg  pg trn bandar utk bdating @ jln2. Utk ak plk, hampir setengah dr mase satu hr ak di isi dgn meluangkn mase d blk p'satuan... utk buat keja2 program yg dirancang atau saje ddk melepak dgn member2 yg senafsu dgn ak (nafsu dgn erti kate aktvt b'persatuan)  dan pd hjg mingg je kami akn pg menjalan' prog yg dh dirancang x kire la di dlm @pn luar UKM.

        Dan hasilnya melalui aktvt persatuan yg aku ikut, ak bjaye pg melawat semua negeri kt Malaysia t'masuk Sabah & Srwk dlm mase 3 setengah thn. Ak jg tlh bjaya menawan 3 puncak gunung t'masuk G. Kinabalu, m'punyai 4 famili angkat serta b'puluh sijil sebagai peserta, urusetia, fasilatator dan juga jurulatih. Ttp kejayaan yg cukup b'makna buat ak adlh bjaye m'langsaikan separuh pengajian ak sebagai insan 'istimewa' (o.k.u)... Dan dgn kehidupan yg t'lampau & istimewa t'sebut ak masih mampu menamat' pengajian dgn gred 2nd class upper.

         Mungkin bg setengah2 mahasiswa @ graduan lain benda yg ak alami ni biase je. Tp bg aku ia merupakan satu prestasi individu yg ckp m'beransangkan memandang' time ak kt sekolah dl ak antr glgn yg digelar sebagai 'nerd' yakni hanya b'tumpu pd akedemik dan juga kurang b'sosial... x dilupakan jg ak m'punyai mslh berat bdn ketika mase tu (skrg? ok la kot blh turun naik gng 6x). Ade jg yg m'pertikai' keputusan ak utk t'lampau aktif dlm pesatuan lg2 lps ak bgelar insan istimewa. Tp stlh bjaye bgelar graduan,  ak yakin ak dh bt kptsn yg bijak kerna selain ak dpt segulung ijazah.  Selain tu jgk ak dpt meraih pelbagai kemahiran dan ilmu2 yg x blh dpt kt dwn kuliah.... antrny kemahiran soft skill yg  kureng pd kbykn graduan IPTA awam , pengendalian mental , emosi dan rohani yg lebih jitu dan x dilupakan segala skill outdoor yg ak bjaye d timba ketika meredah hutan, sungai, tasik & gunung.   

        Jadi kesimpulanya dgn kehidupan aku yg TERLAMPAU aktif ni ak dh bjaya m'cungkil potensi diri ak yg mungkin ak sendiri pun x pernah perasan sblm ni. Ak b'syukur sbb kehidupan di Universiti ak cukup menarik dan penuh dgn p'galaman yg dpt m'perlengkapkan ak bukan sahaja dr segi akademik  ttp jg ilmu2 lain serta nilai2 yg dapat m'perlengkapkan ak sebagai  MANUSIA. Dan kehidupan mahasiswa yg TERLAMPAU ini x tmt dcn sbb ak kini bgelar mahasiswa siswazah di Universiti Malaysia Sarawak.

Terbangnya seekor anak burung dr sarangnya...

          Tanggal 4 Januari 2008 menjadi satu detik bersejarah buat keluargaku.... Sblm aku b'cerita lbh lanjut ade baiknya aku perkenalkan  ahli keluarga aku t'lbh dhl. Utk pengetahuan semua pembaca keluarga ak t'dr drpd 7 org semuanya. Dengan seorg ayah bgelar Mat Hussin & ibuku b'nama Norimah... seterusny kak long Mardiyah, abg ngah Muhd Zubair, diikuti aku Muhd Suhaib dan dua adikku Muneera dan Muhd Salman.... akulah yg plg b'untg ade kakak, abg, adk perempuan & adk lelaki. Mungkin sbb tulah jgk ak yg plg NAKAL ant kami 5 beradik.....

         

          Begitulah serba ringkas perkenalan ttg keluarga Mat Hussin. Ok berbalik kpd tjk post aku kali ni. Pd 4hb jan yg lps kakak aku dan keluarganya tlh berangkat pergi  ke Jerman (land of d merc, BMW & other magnificent car makers) bg menemani suaminya yg melanjutkn pelajaran ke Peringkat Habis Darjah, PHD disane. Mereka jg m'bw bersama2 kedua2 anak teruna mereka Mujahid, 4 thn & Mukhlis, 9 bln.... x dilupakan jg 3 beg XXL dan 2 kotak b'isi diaper, mainan mujahid dan brg2 bayi yg lain (Kalo salah sorry ye kak).

         Bg m'iringi mereka sekeluarga yg dijadualkan blepas pd pkl 11.50 mlm,  kami ahli keluarga yg lain yg msh ade di Mlys tlh tiba seawal 8 mlm di KLIA. B'sandar' motto ayh ku 'Biar Awal Janji SelamaT', kami sekeluarga tiba lbh awl dr keluarga kakak ku dan mertuanya. Kira2 pkl 9 mlm pasangan yg dinantikan tiba bersama 2 jejaka chomel lote sebagai pengapit. Masa sblm penerbangan diisi dgn aktvt2 bfaedah spt m'bungkus semula brgn yg mereka bw akbt beg t'lbh muatan, sesi bermanje dgn anak buah serta tips2 bagaimana utk hidup dibumi asing drpd parentku yg jg m'punyai pengalaman menjage kami 3 beradik terawal di perantauan.... apsl ak x ingat ak penah pg Australia??? (sbb wak2 tu ak bayi lg haw haw haw)

        Beberapa minit sblm  keluarga kak mar masuk k balai berlepas,  suasana hiba  x dpt dielakkan lg.  Air mata mula  berliangan  dan mengalir basah  mbasahi pipi      (ttp kami adik-b'adik lelaki ttp maintain cool mcm bapaknya)...cuma mujahid yg ttp dgn mode cerianya, mungkin sbb die t'lalu mentah utk m'getahui perkara sbnr bhw slps ini dia tpaksa bpisah bt sementara wak2 dgn kami yg x penah jemu melayan 1001 latah dan ragamnya.... munkn bl die kembali k mlysia nnt die sdh lp pd kami....moga2 tidaklah. Selesai menghantar mereka kami sekeluarga pn pulang kembali k bangi, tempat kami akn bmlm sblm plg kembali ke jb keesokkan pgnya.

         Sebenarnya ini bukanlah kali pertama keluarga kami kehilangan salah seorg anggotanya bt sementara wak2. Sblm ni kire2 1 stgh thn yg lps adikku Muneera jg menempuh keadaan yg sama apbl tpaksa bpisah dgn kami disbbkn mengejar cita2nya di Jordan. Cm bezanya die pg kesana ditemani rakan2 sebidang dgnnya manakala kakak ku pg bsama2 keluargany. Walaupun mereka pg utk bbrp thn shj ttp ketiadaan mereka ttp terasa, t'utamanya ketika perayaan dan majlis keraian keluarga kami.... Mungkin slps ni adik-beradik kami yg lain jua bakal mengikuti jejak langkah mereka. Namun begitu walau ape pun yg bkl t'jadi pd ms hadapan, aku doakan keluarga kami tetap bahagia dan utuh sebagai suatu entiti yg melebarkan sayapnya ke setiap ceruk dunia....amin.